For LL in the UK
Well LL, I thought it was time to put a few more observations down on where you are in life and where I am. I also fill in a little more detail of the years 2004 and 2005.
I often think of us as two people who bumped into each other on a busy sidewalk in a big city. I smile and move on and go your way. Just for those few moments when we bump into each other we are together in a brief sliver of time. Then we are both gone. Two different lives, two utterly different histories and two entirely different destinations.
I often think that our time together was like that, quite brief, glancing and then bounced in different directions by life....and decisions. However, unlike you I landed on my feet. I always have in life. This is mainly because I have always planned ahead, but also due to shrewdness, intelligence and an ability to read situations. I applied some of those skills when you thought you had hidden what you were up to behind my back..
You must be aware of my lifestyle by now if you have read these blogs. It bears no comparison with yours does it. That is rhetorical, not a question, because I know the answer. When you were having affairs behind my back, I actually felt sorry for you, believe it or not. To use a very appropriate phrase, you had made your bed (literally) and you were going to have to lie in it. That is, you had lost any chance with me and what I offered...and what I offered was way beyond what I had revealed to you.
I recall you saying when we had parted, not to tell other women too much of what I owned as there are 'gold diggers' out there. I had already applied that maxim long before you gave me that advice. I
applied it to you right from the word go, in September 2003.
I know it dawned upon you that you had made the wrong decision when you said so in early 2006. You were really quite slow to realise which side your bread was buttered weren't you.
You had strange standards too. You said you couldn't let the flour man down, you couldn't do it to him, by coming back to me. Yet, you thought nothing of going behind my back. You had one final chance back then and you blew it.
At that point I thought you were an utter fool. I also decided I should teach you a lesson, with no comeback. Note that last comment. There was no comeback because of my status. Beyond that statement I can say no more. You were subject to disinformation on that score. Not too difficult. The people who were almost on your doorstep that day, were real and still are.
All water under the bridge now, but I think you learned a lesson and that was the purpose of it all. I think, as far as I am informed, you have 'behaved yourself'' ever since, so I guess it was effective.
I expect you wondered why I stopped visiting you so frequently from Spring to Fall of 2005. The reason was simple. I knew about the flour man from March 2005 onward (and others you chatted to). As you now know, I was also busy, very busy with other women. I guess you thought you were clever in apparently hiding your affairs from me. Two things let you down.
One I wasn't born yesterday and the other was the 'gizmo' I had installed on your computer. I was watching your every move from March 2004 onward. It wasn't difficult. I arrived one Friday, we had lunch and you went back to work. I installed what I needed to install. Don't forget my background before I entered the financial world and also the expert advice I had from within my family.
You might I have thought I was getting fed up with you and your dysfunctional family in 2005. I wasn't, but what I couldn't abide was a woman who went behind my back. It was more than you making the wrong decision when you chose flour man over me. Your wrong decisions started when you took that Oxford trip in 2004. From there forward I couldn't really trust you, but for a while I gave you the benefit of the doubt, then you went and did it again...and again.
All my letters, emails etc were an act put on for you. They were there to teach you a lesson. Probably why you haven't left the grossly fat flour man. I've no doubt he wouldn't take such action lying down any more than I did, although I used my brain. I'm not sure about him and exactly how he would react. Maybe that is why you were scared to leave him.
Straight after March 2004 I decided that I wasn't going to be 'tied' to you, especially as you wouldn't commit to me, so I sought out other women. As you said after we parted, it wasn't difficult at all. There were many LL, more than you might imagine and some, as you may now be aware, that were on your doorstep near enough. I had no fear of being 'found out', apart from in one instance of a woman I had an affair with right there in your city. That involved a little forethought.
That forethought involved my using a different car, a Mercedes. I guessed that there were so many around that it, and I, would go unnoticed by you, your family and few friends and work colleagues that knew me. Better that than use the Lexus which was fairly noticeable. As a result I was in your City having an affair during summer 2005 (and in Penrith and Keswick). Having the two cars was quite useful elsewhere too.
During that year, 2005, I spent a lot of time in London and in Europe as well as over here in the USA. My businesses and photography kept me very busy ... and so did many of the women I shot! During that year too I moved my center of operations down to London. Operating from my study was no longer practical. My real estate had grown too large, I needed a proper office and a couple of staff, both ladies incidentally, one of whom I had an affair with. I was single - she wasn't, hence affair instead of relationship. That was 2006.
You thought I would leave you high and dry - you said, when I said I would have you back, if you committed. That was also 2006 - the early part. I would never have left you 'high and dry', I was too fond of you for such games. Heart over head, I guess.
But....you failed yet again, and passed on the best offer you have ever had in your life. Wealth, happiness and a guy, once you committed, who would never have let you down, despite what you did.
Those two years, almost, 2004/5, were a voyage of exploration for me. I tried to stay loyal to you despite the fact you weren't loyal to me. In the end I felt I had to cover myself and make sure I had an alternative woman in my life. To begin with online dating was a boon. I got laid more times than you have had a hot breakfast LL. Some women were falling over themselves to get me into bed - mine or theirs. Often we didn't even make it that far.
I always thought it was men that were the main movers in that direction. OK some women liked to make it seem it was me, but they couldn't wait very often. There were some I met, often for a drink to start with, that I had no intention of taking to bed. Often they were overweight, sometimes a bit 'weird' or just too needy.
But then there were the others. Attractive, nice figures, long legs quite often. These women that I am talking about were all scattered around East Anglia, so I didn't have to go far. I was amazed how many wanted their photos taken, when they found out I was a pretty fair photographer and very often in the nude. Intimate shots seemed to 'turn them on'. That suited me. I'm surprised I didn't wear the fella out! Still firing on all cylinders, so obviously not.
A few were pretty experienced/knowledgeable when it came to the bedroom, but many weren't. They absolutely loved being 'taught' and I greatly enjoyed being their teacher. Many also asked what you did LL - where did I learn to make love like that. During this period, until we parted, I was also seeing you and satisfying your needs and no I never contracted any STD's.
From that beginning, in fact from when I took those shots of you in the nude in Italy, I decided photographing women and photography in general was something I would pursue and so I did. It cascaded from small beginnings into what became an international business. I have earned a small fortune from it, but most of all I laid a lot of beautiful women...at their invitation! Those experiences and the travel involved has been incorporated into the twenty odd books I have written and had published.
I also thought it would be a salutary lesson to keep you informed of my exploits, partly to demonstrate that my life, sexual or otherwise, didn't suffer at all from your actions. In fact I have been leading a very happy, successful and satisfying life ever since you 'strayed'.
Which brings me to your life. That bears no comparison with mine does it. Yet, it might have done had you had the courage and commitment to climb on board. I would not have left you high and dry, I would have been 100% committed to you and as I once told you, and meant it, I wasn't going anywhere. But...then you let me down and you lost. There are winners and losers in life LL. It seems you are, and have been doomed to be, a loser, entirely through your own actions and decisions.
I find that rather sad. I loved the rest of your personality, beyond your unfaithfulness, but without your loyalty and honesty, I couldn't trust you. Sad for me because I truly was extremely fond of you, maybe I was in love with you. I will never know now. Sad for you, as I wanted to give you everything you had never had, materially and emotionally. Through your own actions that was never to be.
To bring this blog to an end, I will remind you of what you have missed out on. All the cars, plane, homes, travel, luxury living, all in an entirely different class to what you enjoy, if that's the right word, with your present partner.
I have many friends LL. Not all of them are women, surprisingly😉. Then there is family, mine and Ash's. Our four children are all doing extremely well. All married, no divorces. Their children, and my grandchildren by blood line and marriage, are a delight...all eight of them. They love their granddad too. Life is good, very good. I sometimes wonder about your son and grandson and how they are doing. The latter must be around 28/29 now and your son 34/35. Me...I passed the three score and ten last year and am still as fit as ever. Maybe a few more facial wrinkles but that's about it.
Here I am writing this in New Hampshire and there you are tucked away in a corner of a small island, where it rains more often than not. I am off again next week, to my home in Skyros and something of a major event in my life. The third you could say.....May and December, if you can figure that reference out.
Ciao
PS I saw the 'vicar' in England earlier this year. She still keeps her diary and is now 44. Maybe I will post an excerpt, for your edification and to show that I really am still firing on all cylinders.
