Catching Up

LL

Apologies, but I have been busy with visitors, family, a birthday (mine) and friends on this side of the country. 

Anyway...Hello... from California.

From my one and only visit to PDC, it seems it suits you and yours. I doubt whether the general ambiance has improved since then. Anyway, I'm sure you had a nice time, nevertheless. Not sure about your usual hangout and that infernal ball game though :) That would drive me mad.

How is his book coming along? I have just finished number eight and have been doing some book signing here in California - sounds good, but it's quite tiresome really. I don't write under my own name, so you can't check me out..unless I tell you the nom de plume. Only my publisher knows that and a few trusted friends ... and family of course. You'll figure out why, I'm sure, but it has nothing to do with you.

While I'm meandering, in a literary sense, I never did see what ever it is you see in your partner. Never in a million years would I have thought you would settle for a 'tub of lard'. On the other hand maybe I didn't really know you...at least in that sense, if not in others :) There is the fact of your age and that you would probably not find another partner easily, now. So maybe that's the reason you stick with him or are stuck with him. Eventually, I see you ending up alone as hee won't make old bones, unless he addresses his health issues.

Enough of that. We are at our home in San Diego, first of all alone, but over Easter with friends from Texas and family of course. I think you would appreciate some of our  National Parks in this State and - not too far away - Las Vegas, but I doubt you ever will. Instead it seems you are enjoying Edinburgh. California in Spring or Edinburgh - I know which I prefer!

After Easter we are heading up to San Francisco - probably our favorite City in this country. I loved it the first time I visited, in the early 80's and ever since, including through the earthquake time when the elevated roads collapsed. A countryman, of your man, and his family are visiting us there. He handles most of our legal stuff in Scotland.Looking forward to an interesting chat with him...........;)

I don't think I've ever said this before but I wanted to say a BIG thank you to you for being so unfaithful. If it hadn't been for your actions I would never have met Ashley, my wife. Easter is quite special to us, dating all the way back to Easter 2005. Remember, I went off to Oregon? That was via New England, Florida Indianapolis and Salt Lake City. I recall you phoned me in Portland Airport (PDX). I wasn't alone, as I told you later - I was with Ashley who I had met at Cambridge University a little earlier back in 2004. Now look at us...Ash and I, that is....and look at you. Your life is a bit of a joke really isn't it, in comparison.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote the above in and around San Diego. What follows is more up to date....in some ways...

'i probably have some more photos, but they aren't very good, compared to yours, not sure what i have sent you - if you let me know i will have a look yes, you are nudging me aren't you :) - the thing is i like waking up alone - that is the difference between us, i know that is not what you want to hear, but it is the truth - i don't feel like i have the time to totally commit myself, whereas you have, the timing is not good i fear, i am still adjusting to my new life and i like it the way it is - but you know that already, i haven't tried to give you any false impression there. i have enjoyed our times together but the thing is they have been quality times - enjoyable times and Sorrento was the best time in the whole world - and it was perfect and thank you for that. I don't know what to say P****, I just don't - i know you want a lot more than i can give you at the moment, if ever - not what you want to hear i fear, but the truth. You are not the type of man to wait around forever though, you know what you want and go after it. Ring me when you want to, i will be busy all day as usual - starting to get things together for Spain - starting packing P*****'s stuff already :)


You may just recall the mail above - it was my belief then, and still is, that you didn't want to settle because you were 'playing the field'. Trips to Oxford etc etc... In the end you did me a BIG favor. I doubt I would be here in San Francisco with my second wife if things had been different. 

Life since way back then has been, initially, quite exciting and entertaining, if you know what I mean (I recall you warned me about STD's - what a silly girl you are). I'm still very active in that department by the way. All down to fitness.
Then, when Ash and I decided to marry, it's been happiness all the way. Nigh on 10 years in all. 

Of course there was some overlap with you, but then you were doing your own thing with other men anyway. Your current man was just the last straw. I had already moved on in a manner of speaking. You are and were, your own worst enemy. Someone who knows you very well said as much just yesterday ;-)

She said, you wouldn't have been working these last, what is it, 8 years, been able to go anywhere, enjoy multiple homes, fly 'home' to your family any time First Class... and any car and anything you wanted. She was right, I was right...you...you were wrong, very wrong. 

Talking of cars I don't have a Jag, but in our 'stable' there is:

Two Aston Martins - one here, one in the UK

BMW SUV - X6 xDrive50i

Lincoln Continental - Florida and wherever

Mercedes S63 AMG 4Matic Sedan

Jeep Grand Cherokee in NH

Lexus Sport - Florida

Bentley V8 Convertible (new model) - here

Bentley Continental - France...appropriate, I guess, given that it's on the Continent :).

Range Rover

So, as you see, no Jag.

Incidentally, we have garaging for six vehicles back home in Florida, so that will give you some idea of the size of the house...and it's gated so no nosy parkers ....or tourists ;-) gawking.

Look up Pacific Heights, San Francisco and see what it says about this area. Fantastic place we have here and the views are to die for...but that's what lots of $'s buy. We will be moving on to Oregon next, then Vancouver, Canada (not Vancouver, Washington State) for a few days. Our summer in Europe beckons afterwards, preceded by a return to the East Coast.


I hear your partner is coming over here (Canada, anyway) on May 28 or thereabouts...you too? Weather in Canada should be better by then. If you are, try getting to Vancouver, BC - it's beautiful but a little way on from where the convention is.


The poem that follows could equally read 'he' as well as 'she':

What does this man mean to me, I really cannot tell, 

It's far too soon to understand what's deep inside his shell.

 He hides from me, then wants to know, what's locked within my heart, 

He leaves me feeling constantly, that we are soon to part. 

Do I frighten him I wonder, am I taking things too fast, 

Does he think I'm playing games with him and it's not meant to last.

Perhaps he's playing games with me, I wonder if he knows,

I've never felt like this before, and I'm frightened that I'll lose.

I'm scared that when he walks away, that he won't be coming back, 

The insecurity I feel is a thing I wish I lacked.

I've been hurt before you know, and I'm not immune to pain,

Now there's not much more for me to lose, and everything to gain. 

I really want to let him know, just what it is I'm thinking,

I can't explain in words alone, it's hard to say what I'm feeling.

 So I try to say in other ways, a glance, a smile, a touch, 

But he doesn't seem to understand, perhaps I'm just too much. 

Maybe I should slow things down, just wait and look towards, 

The next time I'll be seeing him, try not to be so forward. 

I'll tell him of my dreams again, I'll share my hopes and fears, 

I'll tell him what he wants to know; I'll share my life; my tears.

I guess that partially sums up what you were thinking and feeling back then and, to a certain extent, how I was ,too. But time has moved on and our lives have too. Mine far more than yours - I had a magic wand...no not THAT wand! - called money and security, but you passed on that. That would have enabled you to look after your family ad infinitum, stop working and enjoy a life you'll never see now.

Back to more normal things. We have friends from Scotland visiting. A lawyer and his wife and late teenage children. Spent some time out and about over the weekend visiting wineries and a National Park and staying over - really good fun. We were up around Calistoga top end of the Napa Valley. I see you more or less spent your weekend where you always do...life would have been so much more fun with you know who rather than a chicken Kiev on a Friday night LOL!! Food seems to a be a fixation. That and putting up photos of you both largely, I suspect, for my benefit.

As they say in Oz, (where we are going in the Fall) - No worries mate - doesn't make a blind bit of difference to me. You have to remember that I lived very happily until 2003 and have done so since 2005. My life has been and is very, very good...barring that small interregnum constituted by you and your morally indefensible behavior.

So, by all means let me know what is going on in your 'little' life and I will let you know what is going on in mine. Hope you don't feel that what I am doing might have been your life too, because you forfeited that when you played games with me.

Finally, I guess I ought to leave you with a few photos before George and family continue their holiday and Ash and I head for Oregon and Canada. So, here they are:

  To Welcome George and Family

 :)

 Desserts Out

 Desserts Out ... Again

 Autumn in China Last Year

  A Favorite Haunt in Paris

 Him Again!

 Last Year at an Event

 Back to the Pacific

 'Selfie' Yesterday

Too close to the camera my love:)

Note the turquoise jewelry LL. Remember, you asked for some Navajo stuff. This is a little better than that....

My Lady in Red (Apologies to Chris De Burgh)

One lucky fella aren't I LL. At least I think so.

There's an old Portuguese proverb that goes something like this:

Revenge is complete when you are living a successful and happy life.

I guess that's where I am in life. You - now I think that is an entirely different matter. You see in the end this was my revenge. I had no intention of doing anything else. I'm not like that. The other stuff was just to teach you a lesson, rather than any form of revenge.

Happy reading

Ciao little (in every respect bar one...or is that two!) lady!

PS Yes, I can spell, but have adopted the US dictionary, for obvious reasons.

A Melange

A gallery for you to ponder on....

In fact it's a melange of photos, comments and stories.

I think you already know that this particular friend and lady is a grandparent, as I am. Your assessment of her was completely wrong, as of course was your understanding of the writer of this blog. He enjoyed a very happy and energetic period with her, and travel. The enjoyment was not one-sided and that was expressed in a number of ways. Some of which you may be vaguely familiar with...

Norway with Anders and Lise

                                                    Norway with Anders and Lise

As the writer has stated before, not all travel is recorded on his social media. He and his wife were guests of this lovely couple in Norway last summer. Reciprocation is always part of the writer's life and generosity too, so they have been guests here in the USA

Still friends 

This photograph is just 10 days old, at the time of writing. Contrary to your possible belief and a little misinformation from the writer, there never was a hiatus between this lady and him. In fact when you last saw the writer in early 2006, she was 'still in the frame', so to speak. Happily, friendship between true friends depends on trust. That existed and exists with this lady, but was destroyed by you... and between you and the writer. To quote a popular cartoon title - That was a close shave. 

When trust is destroyed so is love, sadly. They say that the opposites then apply - lack of trust and hate. The writer wouldn't go so far as the latter. He would replace that with pity.  Pitying someone who could never be loyal or know the meaning of the word. Infidelity, now there's a word you know the meaning of.

C

Moving on....and that is what the writer did in 2005...

You didn't see all the ladies in his life back in 2005/6. 'C' above was a delightful lady who lived close to his London apartment.

G

The writer loves this photo of 'G'. The pose struck for him is a classic one astride a chair. Her hair is raven black and she more than fulfilled all that he desired at the time. Another friend who received in return all that she gave, and more. It is always about giving and not expecting anything in return, you never understood that concept..

This relationship was, if you like, a European one in a country the writer loves. Visits to an old haunt and a little beyond brought him into contact with this beautiful lady. The result was an ecstatic summer of 2006. You see, the writer was in no need of your attention but this 'collection' is just to ram that point home 

Dinner 2005 Spain

Nothing more need be said. The writer is the photographer and you are aware of the context, although you were led to believe that this took place in 2006. They bathed together that evening in August 2005....You were right to be jealous but you had given up on him by then. Bad mistake - why do you always get things wrong? I know...and so do you!!

G

What can the writer say about G beyond the fact she was gorgeous, loving and very, very sexy.

'Friend' - NYC

I'll just leave this one at that...apart from she is G and Italian American

Lily

Nothing need be said here of this wonderful Greek lady. A loyal friend, an elegant and sexy lady who you have seen in the past

F - A Beautiful Relationship

                                                       F -  A Beautiful Relationship 2

This was a very special relationship. The lady is French, with fluent English. These photos were taken during the late summer of that year near Carcassonne. She is very French, in every way a French woman can be... I leave the rest to your imagination!

                                                                

 S - Germany

The photo will tell you all you need to know about this beautiful German lady, The rest is left to your imagination (nice body though ;) )..... again. The writer took this in Southern Germany.

L - Suffolk, UK Christmas 2005

An English rose without the thorns that you possess. The writer never ever spent a Christmas alone, despite what you may have believed, or were deliberately misinformed of. After the shopping it was a shared shower, if the writer recalls correctly, then dinner out and what often follows.... 

Another Trip another World 2013

Another trip around the World. Do you remember this guy? He's looking good, wouldn't you say. Thriving on his lifestyle. This is just looking at the Pacific from the other side, so to speak. Long way from California, but he has a home not too far from here as well.

The writer is sure that you would have wanted to share this life - a life of travel and great locations, no financial worries and of course great weather nearly the whole year round. He is aware that this is way outside your experience, as evidenced from your trips here (USA) and to Italy with him.

What  stopped you, probably, was a degree of fear of the apparent 'unknown', your reliance on a man after seemingly having been let down in the past, and the fact that you had never really experienced the level of wealth known to you then. Add that to family ties and you withdrew back into your parochial shell. You seem comfortable enough with your working class life style of eating, drinking, that other activity and holidays in Spain. Judging by your past actions - it was all you were really cut out for, in the writer's opinion.

Somewhere in Australia 2013

Here's that guy again, enjoying some Aussie hospitality on a farm somewhere in NSW. He gets around doesn't he..

Fame in yet another Arena - Somewhere in the USA

He made it in yet another field of endeavor. Published chef (and televised) as well as published author. Apparently, they love his accent over here.

One thing is clear, nothing too much has occurred to him physically in the intervening 8 1/2 years, unlike.....

Singapore - March 2013

Just another trip.....

Outback - Northern Queensland 2007

North of Cairns October 2007. He looks pretty good there, too, wouldn't you say :)

Hawaii Late 2013

Fourth trip to the Islands in four years - this one is Oahu. Guess you'll never make it.

The idea here has been for the writer to update you on the ladies that have been in his life in the past, and post your infidelities in 2004. If you ever thought that you had the upper hand, perhaps this and past blogs will destroy that belief. You should never think that lies and betrayals don't have consequences or, that what you think is secret, is in fact that. He signed the Official Secrets Act when you were 9 years old and was still working in the defense world into the 80's. Your mention of the fact your job was 'secret' had him laughing all the way. I guess it was your attempt to give yourself a little 'importance'. Didn't work and, at that time wasn't necessary.

Betrayals always do have consequences and one of the consequences for you was to lose the opportunity of a lifetime. It was there for the taking, but you thought you knew better...you didn't. Poor inadequate LL....ohhh and selfish.

Money flows to those that have it and affection to those who give without thought of return. You just...... took. As the Bible says - you reap what you sow.

C'est la vie.

Time

Quite a bit of time has passed since the photos below were taken. These and many more featuring you, the boys and your parents are heading for the trash unless you want some of them. 

Those below do not feature any of you, or your family and are merely there for old times sake and to give you a flavor of what is held.

You can contact me in the normal way and I will send them along - with no comment or narrative

No explanation Required

No explanation Required

Near Denia

Near Denia

Denia Apartment - What a sh**hole

Talkin Tarn

Sorrento

La Lanterna

Norfolk

Grandma Dot's - Sanibel

Barcelona

Barcelona

'Noel'

Funny thing is he's pretty much the same physically - but some  other people have changed....

All items are on the Cloud, so no problem sending them from here. We are heading up to San Francisco, some National Parks and then onto Oregon in the near future. 

Much later in the year a break in Kwa Zulu, Natal, South Africa. remember you warned me about going to SA? This will be my/our third visit. All other destinations this year remain the same.

In the photo immediately above - in Sorrento - you had no idea of net worth. It was, as you now know, substantially - very substantially - more than you were aware of by a mile. Little did you know...I was right not to tell you wasn't I. I only lifted the corner of the sheet, so to speak.

Have nice day ma'am...guess it's evening over there. Just had morning coffee here and am looking at the Pacific.

Good decision on your part? I think not.

Ciao