Absent

LL

I will be shutting down for a while, soon - no tweets, no blogs for a while. Mind you, your social media messages are few and far between these days. Just weekend stuff which sort of sums your life up - just weekends. Nothing else to say I guess and nothing to talk about. Such an empty life.

I guess you can't put comments up, because he would see them and I am guessing you are under his full control, as you have been since day one. I recall that phrase of yours - someone in control but not controlling. You failed there didn't you...yet again. You are in his thrall. I guessed as much when you nearly returned, but couldn't quite summon up the courage. There is so much truth in the saying, that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the hill.

I was never controlling, clever yes, but never controlling.

Look where I am and look where you are. You should have stuck to this side of the hill.

The reason for shutting down, so to speak, is because we are off to the land of Oz, via here in Singapore etc  - wish you were here? I bet you do. But, you made the wrong choice, as you yourself pointed out. Such a foolish woman. I've met a few as you know but you really do take the biscuit for idiocy. All because you are impatient.

Well, as they say, he who laughs last laughs longest...and I have been laughing non stop for nigh on 10 years now. You had more than enough chances and turned them all down. Through fear, lack of courage or being ashamed of yourself. Who knows, but the upshot is that you missed out on the best and the rest of your life

This is a shot of the rooftop area of our new apartment, where we will be spending some time from next week:

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Ciao

Riflessioni

LL

You never used to wear loose fitting clothes, so I guess the reason is as stated in my last blog...chubbiness...you used to be called 'gorgeous' - remember.

I was reflecting the other day on what a mess you have made of your life and it occurred to me that you are, in fact, the architect of all that has befallen you. You blamed the men in your life, but thinking about it they can't all have been bad, which leaves just one other possibility, or even certainty. That is, that it was your behavior that brought about the turmoil; in your life. Until 10 years ago when you were trapped, and I mean that - trapped - in your present relationship, all that happened had your behavior behind it. Now the control is in his hands not yours.

I know you were/are frightened to leave him, not only because of his possible/probable reaction but also bearing in mind you are just about 62. What would you do all on your own. No - you are well and truly stuck where you are. Very foolish when one considers what might have been and what might have been yours.

Two timing guys always results in mayhem and they always find out - whether it's the Spanish named American, or one of your former husbands...or the writer. The results are plain to see from this viewpoint right down to your awful behavior over the baubles. If it wasn't known up to that point, your idea of morality was well and truly revealed then. At least they are, for now, a reminder of what you might have had, had you 'behaved'.

Why do I write these missives? I think you know why. Yes, I continue to 'flaunt', as you once put it, to demonstrate how much you missed out on. Rubbing it in, is as a sweet a revenge as anything else could have been. Nothing more is required.

Food and drink appear to be your fixation these days and, sadly, it shows, even more so on him. I guess his blood pressure and other vitals are not perfect either. In your heart you must have asked yourself about his health and longevity, or lack of it. It seems you will end up on your own again someway down the road. In his case being of a similar age to you, is not to your advantage. Far better to be with a fit guy than a less than healthy, somewhat younger, one. Does he still fire on all cylinders frequently enough for you. Someone you once knew still does.

Rome is pleasantly warm and sunny today, around 22C. Warm enough to enjoy sitting outside at restaurants, with my beautiful brunette by my side. That's right she isn't blonde at all as I once led you to believe. We'll be back in London before too long, but only briefly, before heading to the Far East and onto Australia. That would be a big adventure for you, wouldn't it. One of the best moments in my life was snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. It was a wonderful experience.

Thought you might like to see that guy, you once thought you knew, enjoying his pool in Naples, so here's a shot:

We will miss Thanksgiving back home in the States this year, but naturally will be there for Christmas. Quite a large family now with three grandchildren and another expected before Christmas - all under 5, except Tom who is now 10. Great fun and our children and their other wives/husband and one fiancee. Brothers and sister too from both sides. So as you can see far from being a guy pottering around in a new build somewhere in the UK as you once imagined, life is altogether quite different with a big and great family (and many in-laws) plus of course a large circle of friends from one end of the globe to the other.

Small town girl that you are and small family lady, I think you might just have been overwhelmed by the life I lead. You once imagined I had few friends - you were very wrong. It was just that I didn't introduce you to them. Quite a few were/are in the US of course, so no chance really of your meeting them when we were together, unless I made it happen.

You didn't know it then but 10 years ago the world could have been your oyster. The only reason I decided not to buy a home in your neck of the woods was because I doubted your commitment, morality and ....fidelity. I was right wasn't I. Basically you are a loser and this time you lost all you might have ever dreamed of.

Ciao - stupido, triste e indeciso signora

Espresso e gelati perfetto cielo

Lost Opportunities

LL

You don't seem to be able or willing to 'reply', so I think it must be that the lack of courage you suffer from is still prevalent. Sad really, we would have been great together. You have moved on a few yards and me miles, so you would probably still feel intimidated by my wealth - you certainly were before we parted. You didn't let on too much, but I could tell.

You are a funny lady lurching, as you have, from one man to another and now adding those pounds again as you head towards your mid 60's. You made a real effort in your late 40's but seems to have lost your way again in the years since 2005. 'Mumsy' fashions, a hair style that is dated (it emphasizes the chubbiness in your face) and those earrings you insist on wearing that are too long for your face shape. I guess it's his influence and that of those around him. Nobody has ever told you how to dress properly or apply make up appropriate to you, have they. I know this is a critique of what you look like now but to me you have, as I said, lost your way.

Mind you that has happened a lot in your life, and the one person who could have fixed it you decided to reject...and he's still in love with you.

I closed (complete in your language) on a house in Massachusetts. You would love it - $14m of great real estate. Your guy's place would fit in the garage with room to spare. You were obviously off to Spain recently, now back to face the British winter - part of that rut I mentioned in a previous blog. There are so many places you will never see with him, but many you would have loved if you had stayed where you should. You have to live each day not just weekends and vacations!!

I'm still in London...just. Ash was in Milan a couple of weeks ago for Fashion Week and we met up here in the UK prior to our annual break down under.

I think I promised a small revelation - nothing too world shaking...just that those photos of 'Ash' I posted over the years are not of her at all - they are of another lady that figured in my life some years back. You will never know what Ash truly looks like, will you. Let's just say that she is tall slim, but not skinny; well endowed where it matters, just under 50 (that's her age, not her bust size) very attractive, beautiful and of course very wealthy, as I have said before...and she's American by birth and citizenship. I always land on my feet don't I.


Here's a few photos to show that I don't just take pictures of scenes and beautiful women with my cameras. The trees are in New Hampshire. The little fella, miles and miles away - the other side of the world you could say...

I've included a beautiful woman as well. We don't want you getting bored, do we. I'll leave you to decide whether it's studio shot, or otherwise.

Ciao

Will be 12,000 miles away very soon :)


PS As my penultimate blog mentions, certain items have not been forgotten. Their return would solve some outstanding issues. You know how make the necessary contact. I'll leave it there for you to ponder, but it's back on the 'books' over here, as from this week. Attorney has filed the papers. I'll consider extending it to another jurisdiction or two in due course.

Decisions

Funny how things work out, isn't it LL.

You grabbing a week or so in Spain another week here and there and that's about it apart from your weekends. They are in between work, his and yours. Both of you in your sixties too. In your particular case heading for 62 in a few months.

Whereas, my life is entirely different and very much more comfortable in all ways. I find it ironic in a way that it was you that didn't want to be bored or in a rut, yet that is exactly where you are. Then there's me. The one you thought was a bit boring...I think you mistook intellect for dullness and then took no account of my bereavement. My life as you have seen is the exciting one. I don't work unless I choose to and then only for myself.

I said you make all the wrong decisions ... so did you! I gave you more chances than most would and you turned away from everything you might ever have wanted. Your life reads like a chapter of mistakes and you are living another right now even though you would never admit it.

I am in Boston today and tomorrow. Flew up yesterday as it was my granddaughter's second birthday. The other granddaughter is heading for 4 in December and grandson 2 in January. Great to have family like mine. You missed all the fun!

Then flying into London for a couple of days before heading to Singapore and eventually Oz. As I said fun and vacations interspersed with a little work.

I remain surprised by your choice - fat, cigar smoking, still working - you too, still working, that is and perhaps a little too chubby. Both heading for 62. How long are our lives? None of us know, but I guess you settled, or most likely find yourself 'trapped', where you are, rather like your previous relationships. You made a decision in 2005 that I know you regret, but have come to accept as the only compromise open to a woman of your age.

I know, because ten years ago there were some pretty desperate ladies of similar age and on their own, out there, wanting to hook up with me. I felt sorry for them, but my wishes and desires lay elsewhere and with women younger than me - not older.

So back to that decision of yours. I know you regretted it then and I am certain you still regret it now. Eating out and in, soccer and a fat partner were not what you sought. Nothing much has changed in your life has it. I am sure where you are is 'comfortable', but you are in a rut, well and truly. Posting photos of food and meals out, is a sad attempt to impress, but fails miserably. Yes, I flaunt my lifestyle just for you, to show you what a fool you were and what you passed on.

I recall that you tried to impress before, with talk of a journalist, a company director. To be frank, company directors are two a penny and, in your particular case, he will never be a journalist in a thousand years. He just doesn't have sufficient command of the English language or a decent style of prose and his grammar is very poor. Yours is better! As to book writing, what a poor attempt - I'm surprised it was published at all. I'm on number 13 and could live from that source of income alone, if I ever had to - although I will never need to of course.

You will read this and say... 'same old', but there is a reason that I write it and you know what that reason is .... if you don't ask me!

Time for a few revelations, but you'll have to wait for my next blog..... Just think - disinformation - in the meantime.

I will leave you with a few photos of my home area, just to remind you of.......the Good Life!

This is just one of Sanford Mall in Seminole County, Florida where we spent a great weekend

Ciao