A Melange of Images

For LL

I promised some different shots LL and here they are.

Quite a mixture from various categories taken over quite a few years. Notes where applicable under each photograph.

No, it wasn't loaded. Just a fun shot for a friend. USA

Canadian Lake

Still life. Studio

Woman's lips - sensual. France

Miserable day in Paris brightened by this couple's umbrellas. Taken from shelter!

 Cappuccino sans chocolate

New Hampshire on our land

New Hampshire...ditto...

New Hampshire...again

Not Florida, but not so far from it

Palm

Yacht. Off Positano, Bay of Salerno. Departing...us that is.

Spanish culinary skills

Dutch horticultural skills

Estero, Fl

Japan

Provence, France

 Lake. Northern USA

Beauty. Studio. London UK

Guess who. Several years ago Boston, Mass.

I always held a candle for you LL. But like this one it is frozen in time

A spectrum of mail boxes. Europe

Snow, New England

Natchez, Adams County, Mississippi, USA

~~~~~~~~~~

I think what is shown below sums up your outlook on life LL. You were too fearful of taking a step into what you deemed to be the 'unknown'. You could have flown, and you would never have 'fallen', I would have made sure of that. Enjoy your vacation in those islands...again and again and again. Next one is 63 isn't it. You missed out on so much in exchange for the mundane and....soccer.

Ciao

LL - Harleys and Decisions

In previous posts and blogs I have mentioned all my cars, mainly to make a point. I have hardly mentioned the several Harley Davidson  motorcycles Ash and I have ridden - she as pillion. I'll leave the plane, pictured above just after delivery, aside for now.

I keep one in New England, and one in Florida. Many years ago in the UK, when I was in the Navy, and around 30 years old, I used to ride a smaller cc Honda. It took me another 30 years to return to motorcycles.

There's nothing like it, especially in the Florida sun, or riding out into the New England countryside on the back roads. We have microphones so can talk as we ride. Ash loves it - with her hands around my waist and her  legs pressed firmly against mine, who I am I to complain.

I've been thinking about boredom and being stuck in ruts, not that I suffer from either. But I think you do. Take your (that's yours, not mine) normal week, the ones when you actually get away from home for just over 2 days. Off you go to the same old place and places, same eating venues, and pretty much the same stores. Beyond that, there are the vacations to Spain...it's either M or L as your destination. I thought you were the one who didn't like being in a rut! Even when you get away you can't get away from the soccer. You really do make me laugh, lots. You call that a life? I certainly don't. In fact I would see it as extremely boring.

I recall your regaling me with the dangerously overweight man's attributes viz., company director, journalist and possessing footballers legs. Was I supposed to be impressed with your latest 'conquest'? I can tell you that I most certainly wasn't.

Taking them each in turn. Company director - well they are two a penny anywhere. I have held directorships before I knew you in several companies and those I hold now are certainly well out of his league. Journalist - that is so laughable that it's an insult to journalists. Have you actually read what he has written? If so  you must see how poorly it is constructed. The grammar is terrible and his use of phrasing and punctuation leaves a lot to be desired. The footballer's legs. I guess that's where physical fitness ends, that and being vertically challenged. Every time I see him I can't believe you settled for ...that! The other it does, when I see him, is to make me laugh. Your choices are unbelievable.

How you could have chosen to follow this life instead of the one offered beats me, although of course you did say after we parted...those 'famous' words " Why do I always make the wrong decisions". We've been there before. I know why you do, and I think you do now.

Cast your mind over what I have told you of my life over the last 11 years and where I have been etc and then compare it with what you have done, experienced and seen. You were absolutely right - you did make the wrong decision.

I wrote part of this before we left Oz. Now in our home in San Francisco taking it easy. Tomorrow we will be in town and taking a trip across the bridge to see friends. I even use BART sometimes! (BART = Bay Area Rapid Transit)

This City is probably one of my favorites and I'm sure you would find it wonderful, but I doubt you will ever get here. You could have done, but....

Quote of the day:

"Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect" - Unknown

Ciao

LL - Our Pasts

We all have a past and naturally you had a past from before I met you LL. Similarly, I had my past.

I have a vague idea of yours from what you told me, but naturally not the detail. Two husbands, various partners etc. But you really knew very little about me, apart from what I elected to tell you. So maybe I should fill some of the gaps in a little, even at this late juncture. Nothing long and drawn out just apposite remarks.

Born in Kent. Grew up as the son of a Naval officer. Excelled at school and later college. Joined Royal Navy aged 17 1/2 as an officer cadet. Trained at  Britannia Royal Naval College, when the principal was Captain Martin.Trained as a helicopter pilot. Posted to various ships and one carrier, plus two land bases. Rose through ranks to Lieutenant Commander, then posted to Whitehall in a role that I can't disclose. Involved travel overseas and also within the UK (Bath and Cheltenham among others).Then I went to the USA to work with the US Navy and other agencies there, with the rank of Commander.

After nearly 16 years in the Service, I took the option to relinquish my commission. I had made contacts in the City by then and as a result I went from the Navy into finance and banking. Not quite where you think I was LL. I worked hard and obtained a degree in economics, invested well and made my first million (GBP) by the time I was forty. From there things just got better and better.

Several million the richer by the early nineties. Investing in real estate, both in Europe and in the USA ensured the tens became a hundred (million). On top of which, I had also invested heavily in mutuals in the US, which either matured, or I realized, just after we parted. Great news today. as well; the Dow Jones went thru 19,000. I invested way back, when it was well below 10,000. Not bad eh?

On the real estate front I had over a 140 properties, mostly commercial, and mainly in the US and Europe, rather than the UK. I did however have a few very choice ones in the UK, apart from the one I used as my home, whilst working in East Anglia.

Then I met Ash, who was similarly wealthy. A re-jig of both our assets, when we married, and more judicious investing has brought us to where we are - not too far short of a billion. I'll leave you to imagine the income such a figure generates. So, when it came to the flaunting, you will now see I wasn't even trying. Naturally, wealth DOES make a difference to one's life and it could have made an enormous difference to yours.

Despite your opinion, which has never been that accurate, my life is far from boring as you have since learned. A lack of patience on your part meant you never found out. Apart from business, I write as you know, very successfully. You always said I was quite literary. I've now gone on to prove it in terms of output and sales. Apart from that I am a photographer of some note these days, and have recently held an exhibition in the States. Top all that with TV appearances (in the US) showcasing my culinary skills and you can see I lead a very full and satisfying life.

All of this has indeed made the quality of my life very, very good. I have not wanted materially or in affection from the women in my life - bar one, of course. It may be immodest of me but you missed out on one of the 'nice guys' in life, despite the later 'punishment', for the way you treated me.

So my past was nothing like you imagined it, or indeed what I led you to believe. There was a reason for the latter, of course. and you are well aware of that reason. I did however grow up as a small boy in a village in Kent, that part is true.

You could have been part of this at one time with a guy who loved you before you cheated. But you exchanged all this for short term pleasure. I knew exactly what I was doing when I asked you to join me, but you had neither the courage, foresight or judgmental ability to take that step. Shame really, for you, much more than me. Yes, I too wondered at one time why you 'never make the right decisions' but I figured out why, later.

I can only speculate on your life. Married far too young, divorced not too long after, remarried and some time later divorced again. whether I believe the reasons you gave me for thsoe events is academic now. All I will say is that there are two sides to any story. Dysfunctional family causing you many problems and heartache - not sure why they were so off the rails but parental control and guidance must have figured somewhere.

Character wise, I don't think you fit into the 'nice woman' bracket at all. There is selfishness present, a lack of courage, and a very suspect standard of morals (theft) and morality (cheating). Beyond all that I did love you once and, yes, I meant what I said when saying I wasn't going anywhere - trouble was, you were!

Incidentally, you have been very 'quiet' of late. Lost your tongue? I doubt it.

I'll call it quits here. I am sitting on my penthouse balcony with a nearly 360 degree view, looking out on a blue Pacific Ocean on a lovely hot day writing this on my Mac.

Ciao

Thick and Thin

LL

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men (and women) and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain





Thick and thin means a number of things.

You went through thick and thin with your family, parents, husbands and partners. Most, but not all you went through, was beyond your control, by and large. I too had times in my life when the going got tough. Not least when I suddenly lost my wife to cancer.

From the 'slough of despond'* to the sunny uplands isn't easily achieved, but if you apply the right choices, backed up by sound judgement, it is possible. I made it, but I don't think you have, although once you might have. There is far more to life than food, drink, short vacations and a soccer loving fanatical individual, as I am sure you are aware.

My life was quite different to yours when we met. I was slowly bringing you into my world, but you didn't have the courage to take that step. Now I have moved on to such an extent that you would truly feel like a fish out of water.

Sensitive area I know, but I remember a photo of you at a wedding looking fairly sizable. Despite what you told me about childbirth, that is where those stretch marks came from. Now it is apparent you are in that position again. From thick to thin and back to thick.

Shame really, I liked you when you were slim. Can't say I would be attracted physically now, but then you have found your partner in crime and he has even you beaten hands down in the size stakes. You are beginning to look like your mom did...and almost dress like she did. There's no excuse for it. I have hardly changed at all since we parted. I also have access to more food opportunities, luxury living etc than you ever will.

So that is another aspect of thick and thin, although in this latter one, I have not taken any part, staying the same weight as I was eleven years ago.

Then there's what you once termed 'luck', or lack of it. There's the thick and thin of that as well. Some have it others don't. You don't. But it's not really luck - it's motivation, perseverance, good judgement and a clear idea of what you want to achieve, without being wavered from that goal by impulsive decisions. Sound familiar?

Not much point in bothering on your part is there. You and he are both approaching another birthday...

Sad about your parents - in the end I liked them much more than I came to think of you. That's a sad reflection on you. At least you will have a few bucks to your name now. You never did have.

There's another kind of thick and thin, but I won't go there😉.

Turning to the present.

We are two weeks into our Oz vacation and plan spending some time in Northern Queensland for ....maybe 4-5 days. then back here on the Queensland/NSW border, almost.  A side trip, when we leave, to Singapore for a couple of days - business mostly. After that, home to Florida via San Francisco. We plan spending a good part of the winter in our Naples home.

Apart from another Spanish trip in January (same old), I guess you will have to suffer the winter  up there. I understand from a good friend (and a mutual one), in your county, that you have snow. Nothing further from my mind here.

That's enough random thoughts for now.

Ciao


* Quote from Pilgrim's Progress - John Bunyan

Naval Matters

LL

Time I showed you a little of me back in RN days, particularly given this last week has been one for remembrance. Sorry, not showing my face in these as I'm pretty well known in certain quarters these days.

The first one is from early days as a lieutenant. I'm the officer in the middle standing in front of the men for this division.:

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This one was taken on the day when I was promoted to this rank, in my thirties:

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This was taken right toward the end of my commission, just before I left the Navy for the world of finance. I had returned (from London and the USA) to say farewell to my old shipmates:

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I'll leave you to work out the rank and what the wings mean - the last part isn't too difficult. I applied a little disinformation when we were still corresponding 😉, as regards my rank, I was a little higher up the ranks than I said. And, more than a little higher than J***, the guy you saw when you were supposed to be seeing M, your retired colleague. I recall another P, too, but we both know what you were up to behind my back. Hard to believe you could take so much from men and give so little back. Not nice, not nice at all...and not a nice person as you said about yourself once, when you were a bit low.

I had a successful career in the Navy, as is borne out by the photos, both land based and sea based. my last posting was in London, where I was involved in...well I can't say, can I. My only comment would be that you would have to get up early to hoodwink me. That was part of my 'business'.

From there to the world of finance and then to where I am now. Not a bad life or set of achievements wouldn't you say. In part, I think that is what you couldn't cope with. Somebody way ahead of the curve, as far as life was concerned and, in time, way ahead of what you were up to. You were far more conscious of 'your' supposed social class than I was of mine. That's often the case with folk who seem to think they are at the bottom of the heap.

The secret is not to stay there. You have to be brave and take risks - neither of which you had or could do. Not even brave enough to face me...enough said, I think.

------0------

Enough of all that, it left more than a bad taste in my mouth, metaphorically speaking.

Yesterday, 11/11, was a day for reflection. You didn't know, because I didn't tell you, but I lost a few friends whilst in the Service. Been remembering them today.

You'd love the island where we have been staying, warm/hot entirely made of sand and a little earth, hilly and surrounded by a turquoise sea. Being Oz it is quite civilized and our place looked straight out onto the Ocean. Back on the mainland on now (here that is - we are nearly a day ahead of the UK). I never cease to like this place, like many others I have visited around the world, despite it's insects, reptiles and snakes...and I've seen a few! You can be on the beach here in southern Queensland and yet drive into the mountains within an hour.

New South Wales border is just a few miles away (they use km's here), so if a change is wanted we can drive out of the tropics and head south. If you head north, it's best by plane as there are large tracts of just agriculture, sugar cane, bananas etc. I particularly love Cairns and the wilderness of the national parks up there. Just need to keep an eye out for salt water crocs. Real Croc Dundee country but Cairns and Port Douglas are quite civilized. 

Next stop will be Singapore to meet up with a guy called David who is a business colleague. Then from there back home to the USA. Pick up my own plane in LA and then fly over to our Florida home, where will spend Christmas.

How does all that compare with your planned trip to Spain (again!) in January. No comparison is there. In fact there is no comparison between the life you lead and the one you could have, if you had made the correct choice. Boy, what you have missed. So much and all in style. I still can't figure out why you were so foolish. Yes, I know you make poor decisions, that your judgment is very suspect, and that you are impulsive, but you must known that, even on the little information I revealed to you, your life would have been assured with a man,who was then in love with you.

A final little note based on something seen recently - you'll pick up on what I'm referring to, but I haven't had a take-out meal since I knew you. The 'toy' car that is a relatively new toy would fit on the back of one of our pick ups at the ranch in New Hampshire.

Ciao 

Authorship

LL

Now ...

.... settled in Oz for a few weeks. I was going to say bedded down, but that is probably not the best phrase to use where you're concerned. Beautiful Tuesday morning here, sunny and 30c. One has to follow the sun through the year!

As you will know, and realize, I think a lot. I was thinking about your intellect yesterday. You never fulfilled your real potential did you. I always reckoned you were reasonably intelligent, even if you were more than a little wayward otherwise. With the right education and motivation you could have achieved far more in life than you have. You don't have to be a genius to achieve what I have, but you do have to work hard and make good decisions.

It is on that latter point you have often fallen down. A lot of your thinking and choices are shallow and materialistic. By that I mean you go by what your eyes see, rather than thinking things through. You have proved that to me by what you told me about your past, and what you said after we had parted 'why do I always make the wrong decisions...'. There you have it really - impulsive shallow choices, backed up by poor decision making. That is what has governed your life and delivered you to where you are now, in your seventh decade.

I suppose, equally, I could say the opposite has ensured the life I occupy. I am no fool and I could see where you were back then - not a good place by all accounts. At the time I loved you and wanted you by my side to share life together, and for good. I 'wasn't going anywhere' remember. and I wasn't until....

In one sense, I guess what I have written above is one form of authorship. Let's now turn to the man you once described to me as being a journalist. Something of an insult to journalists, I thought. That brings me to his latest publication, which is not exactly going to sell like hot cakes in Waterstones or Barnes and Noble. I will admit it will probably have appeal among the followers of a certain activity in a limited geographical area, plus a few places beyond.

Perhaps I should comment on the use of language, phrasing, punctuation  and grammar. As luck would have it, a small section of the latest tome has been sent to me.  Great blocks of narrative with poor grammar don't make for easy reading; nor do never ending sentences, punctuated only by commas. Publication, via a small independent publisher, is hardly Harper Collins -  the latter is my league.

You always knew I had literary skills LL. You mentioned them often enough. Well I put them to very good use in writing fifteen novels that have sold and sold. I could live quite easily on the income from that source alone. I doubt, in fact I know, the same can't be said of your 'journalist'.

Choices LL. You make them and have to live by them. You did, and I did. Guess you know who came out of things best.

I have penned this while watching the election...from afar. Tomorrow we are off to Stradbroke Island - should be fun. Enjoy yet another weekend in the cold north...12,000 miles way from here!

Ciao lady.

Class

LL

We are enjoying a lovely vacation here in Hawai'i and travelling between the islands. From here we leave for Australia and our annual stay there. You would love O'ahu and Maui and indeed Brisbane where we have a home. However, you got it all wrong and passed on a life of luxury, security and the love of a man who once loved you deeply. Your loss and... once ... mine. You have the short round person to make you laugh...is everything a 'legend' Ha ha. Me, I have a tall elegant and sophisticated woman by my side, literally...my  wife.

Now, it seems that your sole purpose in life is to eat, drink and take the occasional vacation to the same old places in life. Accompanied by that very short and very large person, is that the excitement you sought in life when you spoke of it with me? Every post is food or drink pretty much. There's a whole world out there that you might have explored with me. I'm still exploring, but I don't think you ever will.

At one time I believe you thought I was the 'boring one'. It turns it was you! You never had any real idea of my life before we met did you. To you, I was merely someone who had apparently spent his life in banking. Sorry to disappoint but it was a life of two halves. The first half was filled with adventure and travel. Yes, I was in the Navy for over 15 years in a variety of roles, some sea going others land based in areas that even now I can't talk about.That's partly why you never knew.

I even misled you on the rank that I achieved.You were a poor keeper of your secrets which mainly fell into the sexual arena. Whereas, I have told you (nor anyone else, come to that) nothing of the secrets I have to keep, which makes me a far better manager of my tongue, unlike you. @bandofbrothersx are the only ones who truly know.

The other half was spent, if that's the word, in finance, and making my own investments over nearly thirty years. Perhaps that will give you some idea of how I ended up a very wealthy man

You once advised me not to tell any women about my wealth. I didn't need your advice. I had already applied it....to you. By March of 2004, I knew why you wouldn't commit and by March 2004 I knew why you didn't. It would have cramped your style. I was never going to influence any decision you made with the true extent of my wealth. You always make the wrong decisions, to use your own words, and you certainly did with me.

Have to say that your dress sense hasn't improved either. If anything it's gotten worse - very 'mumsy'. Then there's your weight, but let's not go there. You lied about it's cause, previously, by the way.

Now to another matter - one that is unresolved.

Class, standards, principles. They are not the exclusive domain of any particular social grouping. There are good and bad rich, and good and bad poor. Loose morals and actions often unaccompanied by a conscience are also spread across all ages, classes and sexes.

I am sure you'll realize where this is headed. I won't repeat what has been said many times before, but I will touch on just one area, and that is the one that concerns a kind of 'theft'.

Since your refusal to return certain items, I have spoken with many women on the subject and all said, given the circumstances, they would have returned what had been given in love for an individual who not only spurned that love but was unfaithful as well. On that cross section of opinion, you are in a minority of one.

Obviously, there is no conscience at play on your part and a skewed set of principles seems to have been employed Who ever heard of a woman 'playing away' behind her partner's back and then supposedly leaving him, but retaining items such as those you have kept. No one I know, or have spoken to. I guess it comes down to what I was talking about in the first paragraph. A lack of class (even working class), a lack of any standards of decency and certainly no principles to talk of. Combine that with loose morals and I guess I am not surprised - not surprised at all.

To think I was once in love with such a person makes me cold to even think about it. You could prove me wrong of course, but you won't, because you can't. You can't see that you have done anything wrong. To me that speaks of a deeply flawed person. Very sad, and equally sad that people such as you are out there.

It was never about the material worth of the items - it was, and is, about the way you have acted in this particular respect. I have written this just to remind you that the matter has not been forgotten or indeed 'put to bed', to coin a phrase (an inappropriate one in your case)...and certainly not forgiven.

I will write again soon and the subject will contain some comments on authorship...not mine though.

                                                         

Ciao

More Reflections

LL

I remember way back in 2005 when you were 'afraid' to let me see you after you thought you had finished things. Remember why? It was because you said that I would get you into bed and that would be that.

I guess that was a 'compliment' in a sort of backhanded way, one of many (proper compliments) since you went your way, and I went mine. Made me think that in fact what you were receiving elsewhere, and since, didn't measure up to what you enjoyed with yours truly. I am guessing I am right as well.

I never ever thought of myself as 'God's gift etc', but, since you, I have been told that I am 'something else!...in the bedroom' many, many times, and also by one lady, that I was 'highly sexed'. I guess I still am, despite the passage of over ten years.

My point is that it seems you couldn't trust yourself not to succumb to me, if I had visited after you thought you brought things to a close. In itself, that is an insight to your own sexuality and it tells me why you had those affairs behind my back.

All water under the bridge you will say, and it is, but I thought I would remind you of the looseness of your ways and how that made your decisions for you and not your head. In doing so you lost something you will never have in your life, or lifetime. It answers that question of why you always made the wrong decisions, in my book. That and combined with your impulsive nature.

There was a time when I was in love with you, when I would have done anything for you, but you couldn't wait for me or indeed be brave enough to join me and come with me. Family, yours, wasn't the problem - you were, they were merely the excuse. You used to accuse me of thinking too much - you didn't think enough. You missed out big time LL, all because...of those reasons.

Then there's who you chose. I still can't believe you settled for him. There's definitely something wrong with your thinking.

By way of comparison here are two 'selfies' taken today, over here in 'The Land of the Free'. Still in good shape wouldn't you say. A thought occurred to me when writing this. Several women I have 'known' in the past have, what can best be termed, large partners although most aren't as vertically challenged as yours. I suppose it's the age of the men, but these photos prove that it doesn't have to be that way. I drink, moderately, and eat well. I guess you could put it down to my Naval past and regular exercise...of all sorts.

 You had a thing about white shirts as I recall...you weren't the only one! :-)

I have no doubt you will recognize the watch given to me by my late wife.

It's all a bit late now, for you. If I'm correct you are heading for your sixty third shortly. I wonder where you will be in ten years and whether you will be on your own again. Given his size/life style and probable health, I suspect you will be.

Not that much life left for any of us is there. At least mine is everything yours is not, but....it could have been for you. As I told you, I wasn't going anywhere, and I wasn't, until you played around behind my back. What's that old saying - there can be no love without trust. You destroyed my love  by destroying my trust in you, in one fell swoop. You have no idea how devastating that was.

Both our lives have moved on and the last 12 years, for me, have been some of the very best. Yes, I knew from 2004 what you were up to. Now it doesn't matter, but I like to remind you of what I think, how I felt about you (then) and what you have missed since that time.

Yellow and Gold

Gallery - Yellow and Gold

LL

LL - I am shortly having a photo exhibition entitled 'Colors', over here in the States. Thought you might like to see some of the images from an extensive portfolio. The 'trick' with black and white and highlighted colors is relatively easy.

A black box enables other shots to be taken against a pure black background that is light absorbent.

Ciao

Remarks

LL

Remember back a-ways, LL, when you said I was crazy. Look at me now!

A defense mechanism on your part, methinks. I don't think you really believed that. Just that it was easier for you say that, than face the fact that I reacted as I did, back then. I suspect you thought I would take things lying down. But, you underestimated me, not only in that respect but in quite a few other ways. In doing so, and in doing what you did, it wasn't me that was the loser, it was you. That, I am sure, you have come to realize. As I have said many times before, you did acknowledge the fact, when you said that you always make the wrong decisions.

I also recall you made disparaging remarks about my cousin J and also Carole. They were both people you had never met, but felt able to pass a not very nice opinion on. It is easy to drift off into the time after we parted and the things you said and did. None of them very nice at all, especially when combined with your actions and the theft, which naturally is not forgotten, or forgiven. There are granddaughters (2) now, that might have inherited what you kept. I guess you can live with that - most couldn't.

I'll leave my reflections now and instead concentrate on our horses. They are loyal.

We are on the move. Not a new home or location but making our home in a location where we already own a place. We will keep the place in Naples of course, but our real home will be a wee bit closer to your shores here in New England. We have lived in Florida for nigh on 10 years now and felt we could do with a change and also to be nearer where most of what we own and do takes place. Guess we will overwinter in Florida or the West Coast though...snowbirds instead of residents you might say.

Have fun over in Spain...we did!

Adios

Blue

LL

Blue

A few more images for the 'Colors' exhibition. Now back home in Massachusetts and New Hampshire enjoying the Fall colors, as well. You have no idea what you have missed LL.