More Reflections

LL

I remember way back in 2005 when you were 'afraid' to let me see you after you thought you had finished things. Remember why? It was because you said that I would get you into bed and that would be that.

I guess that was a 'compliment' in a sort of backhanded way, one of many (proper compliments) since you went your way, and I went mine. Made me think that in fact what you were receiving elsewhere, and since, didn't measure up to what you enjoyed with yours truly. I am guessing I am right as well.

I never ever thought of myself as 'God's gift etc', but, since you, I have been told that I am 'something else!...in the bedroom' many, many times, and also by one lady, that I was 'highly sexed'. I guess I still am, despite the passage of over ten years.

My point is that it seems you couldn't trust yourself not to succumb to me, if I had visited after you thought you brought things to a close. In itself, that is an insight to your own sexuality and it tells me why you had those affairs behind my back.

All water under the bridge you will say, and it is, but I thought I would remind you of the looseness of your ways and how that made your decisions for you and not your head. In doing so you lost something you will never have in your life, or lifetime. It answers that question of why you always made the wrong decisions, in my book. That and combined with your impulsive nature.

There was a time when I was in love with you, when I would have done anything for you, but you couldn't wait for me or indeed be brave enough to join me and come with me. Family, yours, wasn't the problem - you were, they were merely the excuse. You used to accuse me of thinking too much - you didn't think enough. You missed out big time LL, all because...of those reasons.

Then there's who you chose. I still can't believe you settled for him. There's definitely something wrong with your thinking.

By way of comparison here are two 'selfies' taken today, over here in 'The Land of the Free'. Still in good shape wouldn't you say. A thought occurred to me when writing this. Several women I have 'known' in the past have, what can best be termed, large partners although most aren't as vertically challenged as yours. I suppose it's the age of the men, but these photos prove that it doesn't have to be that way. I drink, moderately, and eat well. I guess you could put it down to my Naval past and regular exercise...of all sorts.

 You had a thing about white shirts as I recall...you weren't the only one! :-)

I have no doubt you will recognize the watch given to me by my late wife.

It's all a bit late now, for you. If I'm correct you are heading for your sixty third shortly. I wonder where you will be in ten years and whether you will be on your own again. Given his size/life style and probable health, I suspect you will be.

Not that much life left for any of us is there. At least mine is everything yours is not, but....it could have been for you. As I told you, I wasn't going anywhere, and I wasn't, until you played around behind my back. What's that old saying - there can be no love without trust. You destroyed my love  by destroying my trust in you, in one fell swoop. You have no idea how devastating that was.

Both our lives have moved on and the last 12 years, for me, have been some of the very best. Yes, I knew from 2004 what you were up to. Now it doesn't matter, but I like to remind you of what I think, how I felt about you (then) and what you have missed since that time.