A long time ago now, when you decided we should part - I already had, due to the knowledge I had gained of you - you said
'we can still remain friends'. I think you wanted that more than I did. Possibly, you still do. Let's call it hedging your bets, at the time.
Trouble is, at that time, I would have found it very difficult to maintain a friendship with someone I had lost all trust in. But, time is a great healer.
Indeed it has reached that point when time has healed that hurt completely. Trouble is time has diluted the love I felt for you, too. Separation has dissolved much of it, but not all. I wouldn't be here now, otherwise. There are still some grains, some emotions, some love remaining, despite everything.
But you are where you are and I am where I am. Guess I'm in a better place, but that wasn't planned, initially.
Maybe what I was and what I had, and offered, was a little too much for you. You often gave the impression that you were inferior because of your lack of wealth. None of that mattered to me, but it did matter to you, didn't it.
I am a passionate man. Passionate about what I do, the people in my life and about both my countries...and I've worked for both. You can ask me what that was, but I can't say. In fact I've already said too much, probably.
Now I'm enjoying a well earned 'rest' from all that and just 'playing' businessman, author and a few other pursuits.
All of that aside you are frequently in my thoughts, as I am sure you have guessed. I feel a little sorry with the choices you have made in life including where you find yourself now. You have settled for that, but I see it as mundane and not at all what you really wanted from life.
I think I opened your eyes a little but what you saw probably frightened you, as it was a life you had never led. Out of your comfort zone is probably the appropriate phrase. You once, well more than once, spoke of not wanting to be bored. As you have now probably realized, you would never have been bored if you had decided to stay.
Life has moved on for both of us. Yours a little, mine a lot. Time has passed and lost time cannot be regained. We are both older and things will undoubtedly stay as they are. My life is very good, better than anything you might imagine. Yours? I'll take a guess and say it's "OK", but not a lot more than that.
You know where I am, electronically speaking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After all that serious stuff, here's something that might amuse you...
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, husband #1 was a sales representative, he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.
Husband #2 was in software services, he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services, he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing, even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from administration, he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was… God! I miss him!
… But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
