Love and Hate

For LL in the UK

After we parted and I decided to ‘teach you a lesson’, you probably thought I hated you. I didn’t. What I hated was what you did, rather than you.

Did you ever consider that doing what you did as far back as March 2004 was going to change the way your life was going to be lived? I don’t think so. We all have forks in the path of our lives. The trick is choosing the right one and I think you know the mistake you made in making the decision you did.

You are probably thinking there he goes again reminding me.  Well it's true, that is exactly what I am doing and the reasons are, I am sure, all too apparent to you now, from my previous blogs. I just want you to see and realize that you an insecure and dishonest woman, to understand fully what a fool you have been during your life. Not just with me, but with the two husbands and other men

 that have entered and left your life. Those you did settle with including the current 'victim' have not been close to a good choice.

I have often wondered why you made such a mess of your life and through that some of your family's lives. I'm no expert in the field of psychiatry, but I do know and can read people pretty darn well. You have been insecure for much of your life. I don't mean financially, although that undoubtedly came into it, but emotionally insecure. From that stemmed all your actions in life. I don't think all your partners/husbands were to blame'

I think that because of those inbuilt insecurities including financial ones, you took on me, who you were reasonably attracted to. I offered you some apparent security. Impulsive decisions in the main, not measured ones have been a feature of your life too in choosing most of your men. The result was that you lost those husbands/partners one way or another, because you later saw faults in them. Act in haste, repent at leisure LL. Remember that not all the faults were in them either.

The same impulsiveness and  sense of insecurity came into play with me. I could 'see' it in a lot of your actions and decisions. When you failed to commit to me I knew the writing was on the wall for 'us', but I am the persistent type. I carried on in the hope you would change your mind. Your physical/emotional insecurity finally let you down when you lost my trust in March 2004.

I am totally loyal, but cross me, as  you did, and you lose me. That is what happened to us. You lost me at that point in 2004. After that I carried on with what was just a physical relationship not an emotional one.

Your insecurity influenced all your decisions. You once posed the question after we had parted as to why you make all the wrong decisions. What I have said above is why LL You are an insecure, impulsive and, sorry, also an unreliable woman. I see you ending up alone within the next ten years. Your current man is not possessed of the healthiest body.

I have said in the past that you never really knew me. You certainly didn't and I'm not just talking about me as a person, I'm talking about my 'working' life. I won't be committing it to paper as I can't - it's not permitted. You can draw your own conclusions from that LL.

The other side of me? I am calm, secure, make all the 'right' decisions, totally loyal to women I am committed to and ....an incurable romantic.

Ask yourself this. Why, out of the many women I have met in my life, have enjoyed a relationship with and think of me with respect, fondly and with a lot of affection you are the only one who was antagonistic toward me. That from the woman who instigated what happened. You know why LL - it is you, you insecurities and your impulsive and selfish nature....and your stupid defence mechanism.

I am looked up to in my family as a reliable, loving, supportive wise and generous man. I don't seek such accolades. I am quoting what others have told me.

I have 'thrust' these blogs down your throat to demonstrate to you several things. That you made the wrong decision, that I am not someone to cross, that I am the complete opposite to you in that I am financially secure  (that's for sure!) and emotionally secure (always have been).You wanted to stay friends with me after we parted. To me that was a case of having your cake and eating it. That may have been the way you treated the other men you cast aside, but I wasn't the 'other' men. Not weak, not insecure. I wasn't up for accepting that so I then played you for about a year or so to teach you a lesson.

Yes, I stopped direct contact but not for the reason you instigated, In fact the people I worked for handled that, to make it appear it happened when it didn't. You never really 'leave' that service...  I stopped because I had met Ash and a bit before that some other women that I was committed to prior to Ash. Your life and grubby ways seemed irrelevant to me then.

Why do I write these blogs because you are the only woman that has acted as you did and treated me as you did, and I have known far more women than you have men, by many miles. I am their friend and they mine to this day. You are not and do you know what? One of the main reasons was your coldness lack of emotion and cursory way you treated me when you handed the ring back. You lost any respect that still lingered right there and then.

About a month later you made that remark about making wrong decisions. For once you were right, you did make the wrong decision. On social media you demonstrate a certain smugness, but you and I know it is false and is in fact your insecurity surfacing again.

My remarks on such platforms are merely reminders of the life you forfeited.Now enjoyed by others who are younger, fitter and far more loving. As I have said before, you made your bed.... Not me, nor anyone else, just you and it is you who are responsible for all that has happened in your life. Not others...just you.

Composed by the pool here in Naples, Florida on another sunny and warm/hot day🌞🌞🌞