Commitments Past

LL

Hi LL. it's a little time since I wrote beyond showing you the life I enjoyed after you, and the many women that featured in it. I will return to that aspect soon.

Just back from Rome meeting an old buddy who was 'passing through'.  It's lovely here in Sorrento as I write this - around 24/25C. Old places like this never change much and they haven't since I first brought you here. One difference is that there is now a fast road from Naples, mainly through a new tunnel, so no driving round the curving road that hugged the cliff tops.

We are in Italy for some time. Heading further north in June when you 'escape' to one of your usual haunts with 'I like a man with a bit of meat on his bones' - actually it's an enormous amount of meat and not much height, in fact.

Dwelling on that for just a moment. I knew why you never showed me a photo of him way back when, even though I already had a few from another 'source'. Imagine me laughing, really laughing, because that's what I and others did when we saw him. Now, nearly twelve years later, there you are still in your little humdrum life with him.

I always thought you wanted excitement in your life after the history that you had. Looking forward to weekends of gin, Prosecco and food doesn't quite fit the word 'excitement' does it. Do you recall when we started going through that immigration process. I spent a few $000 on that. We would have been successful, but I think you were never brave enough, never had enough confidence or guts. I am sure you know by now that the actions you took and the decision you made, have left you where you are rather than where, at that time, you should have been.

The irony is that I am a US citizen, but almost wholly due to another woman...and quite a few $m.

I always wanted the best for you and I was (am) able to provide it. You rejected that because of your insecurities, your impulsive nature and downright fearfulness. I was totally committed to you. You knew that, yet you made the decisions you did. Act in haste, repent at leisure, really does apply to you, doesn't it. I never did anything without considering it fully and that applied to my commitment to you, as much as it does in all other things.

In 2006 and 2007 you nearly came back to me. Not only do I know that - you told me yourself. Then there were the remarks ‘will we have enough to live on xxx?’ (email late 2006), ‘I’m flustered and not sure what to do but I know I was wrong to leave you’ (MSN Messenger 2007).

I guess you will always be impulsive but also indecisive.

If you are trying to impress me with your posts on social media, think again. They are totally unimpressive and slap of your view of what is important in your life rather than what is important in mine....and could have been/should have been in 'ours'.

I said I would always be around for you and that still holds...although neither of us will last forever!!😃

Ciao