Board or Bored

Board as in two short planks or more correctly bored meaning a lack of stimuli? 

I think you meant the latter. Spelling was not a strong point was it. I recall you using 'boredum' when of course it is boredom. It's all in pronunciation. If you don't pronounce words properly you won't spell them correctly. :)

As I suspected you haven't found peace, joy and calmness in your life. That is because you made the wrong choice. You may be somewhat against wealth, but it is a very useful tool in solving problems and creating security and a happy environment for others. 

I said tool purposely, because that is how I view it. It is merely a means to achieve other things. It's not adding to our wealth that gives me fulfillment it's the buzz/kick, or whatever you want to call it, that I get from achieving...and I have been achieving all my life. Of course we all have knock backs (even me!) but I have always picked myself up dusted myself off and gotten on with things. Quantity doesn't entire my thinking, but quality certainly does be it material things, emotionally or family.

Since you and I moved apart my life has achieved what you have not - that very same peace, joy and calmness. I had it before my wife died and I have it again thanks to the lady who appears below.

It was my intention to bring it into your life, but through your own actions that was never to be. I think I was right and so were you in saying that you never make the right decisions and end up with at the very best a mundane existence. Family matters to me, and I know it does to you. 

You won't be able to solve the problems in the lives of two of the younger people close to you and your man won't. It could have been done. The older members deserve a comfortable and pain free life in their twilight years. All of this was there for the taking - but you sought merely to satisfy yourself, denying a better life to your family and hurting those close to you at that time. 

With all that on your conscience and more, I doubt you will find that peace and calmness. By the way it isn't boring either. It is like a warm glow that is permanently with you. Free of all the other woes of life, you can have a pretty good and exciting time...and I do.

Merely my experience over the last nearly 8 years, but I can assure you it's a great feeling. I know you realize you were a fool when you did what you did and made the decisions you did. You have sacrificed more than you will ever know by those actions and decisions and you lost the deep love of a man who would have nurtured and cared for you like no one else.

Sad, really, very sad.....

A few more photos for you to view:

 Greece 2013

Northern California Sunset

 Northern California 

  San Diego Coffee Time

 But Baby it's Cold Outside - Colorado

 Colorado

 Germany - Dusseldorf

 My Gold Standard

 Marbella

 Time for Friends

 One of Our Pools

 One of Our Cars

Nob Hill - San Francisco

Thought you might like a couple of place photos to 'bracket' the others. You could have been happy, at peace and calm but....you chose otherwise. I know things aren't as you try to represent them and that is also quite sad. There is no way in the world I would want the odd life you lead.

We are here in Keswick and around the Lake District for a few days as Ash loves it here, especially with Fall approaching.  Haven't found a hill quite like the one above though!! :)))

Afterwards we are back to London and then home to family and our New Hampshire place....and Ben, my faithful Retriever!

Finally, did I tell you that there's a another grandchild due soon...probably not.

Ciao :)