In a Car park

For LL in the UK

Do remember our conversation in the parking lot at Publix, on Summerlin in Fort Myers? That would have been in January of 2004.

I do.

You asked me something fairly important and, in my response right by the car, I told you I wasn't going anywhere, but staying with you. You responded by saying how happy and secure that made you feel. 

Trouble was LL your impulses made darn sure you were going elsewhere as you revealed to me in a semi drunken stupor that very same year. Eventually, when I realized a leopard doesn't change its spots, I orchestrated your departure. You may think it was all your doing, but it wasn't. It was relatively easy for me.

I stayed away and, sure as eggs are eggs, you did what I thought you would. It wasn't a hardship for me - no sir! Apart from some family issues with my daughter (that part was true), I really had a great time with other women I met. Quite a few in fact - more than you might have imagined.

I pressed you for commitment but when it wasn't forthcoming I knew I could never rely on you. Your wandering off with other men from March 2004, let me know that it was OK for me to do the same and find other women. That proved all too easy and I was falling over myself with offers.

Going back to that moment in the car park, you would have been secure and wealthy if you had remained with me. Once I knew about the first man I thought I would give you a chance, but when others climbed into your bed that was it for me. A great shame really. We got along pretty well and I was and am a loyal and faithful partner (unlike your current man). My loyalty had limits though as did my faithfulness. You broke those limits... and the rest as they say is history.

Your history over the past fourteen years would have been very different to the mundane routine that you have lived since we parted, but you will never know by how much.

I still chuckle at your saying 'Will we have enough to live on?' .

That was funny then and equally so now. I recall I sent you a spreadsheet showing my supposed income. Just enough so you wouldn't be swayed by my wealth. I wanted you to commit for reasons of the heart, not financial ones. You failed as with so many things in your life.

You had the chance to back a a winner but couldn't bring yourself to place the bet.

Ciao