Sanity and Decisions

For LL

A few meanderings....just to keep you aware of where you find yourself. Fact or fiction...

Some people make poor decisions, then compound them throughout their lives. Some people like you LL.

You were the one who said I was 'mad' or had 'lost it'. I don't think so. Everything I did back then was thought through thoroughly and calculated. That included the supposed ,conviction. You had no idea of my background and you still don't. In fact I'm not even who you think I am.... So no dream world, no out of touch with reality, no Walter Mitty* world. (*Look him up if you don't know what I mean).

So who is mad now? The person who had the foresight to get out sooner than the other party.That latter one is the person that thought she was 'clever' in supposedly hiding what she was up to. Or, the person who has stayed where she is and whose life is one of food, drink and the occasional vacation to the same destinations.

He wasn't mad, in fact he was very sane. Sane enough to get out from under, sooner rather than later. To keep his wealth hidden from her, because he was never sure once she said she 'couldn't commit'...or in fact wouldn't. Proof that he was right took very little time, some six months, to surface in the form of infidelity.

Who is 'mad' now LL? The one who leads the mundane life, or the one who leads the exciting and fulfilling life. Who sped ahead and who was left behind - her choice incidentally? Not so mad after all was I. But you were to move elsewhere on a whim..why do I always make the wrong decisions. Your words LL, and so very true. If you knew you had made the wrong decision why in hell's name didn't you correct that mistake?

I have never been one to wallow in other's misfortune, but you have to admit that I had the last laugh....right down to that matter of court referred to above. As we say over here - go figure, because it was certainly gratifying to have such protection, due to my past 'activities'. That didn't stop me. It was the fact you really weren't worth it.

Been in New York for a few days and now in New Hampshire with the horses and the beautiful countryside. My kind of relaxation.

You had every right to have been jealous of C ... and all the other women I met. I just thought it was hilarious that you could part yet still feel jealous that I was with others. I didn't feel the same about your man...for obvious reasons! That apart, once you played away that was it, back then.

Of course you did give me one thing. A bereaved person, as you may know, feels their whole world has gone after the loss of someone who they have been with for so many years. It can feel that there is nothing worth living for after such an event. I was close to that point once and you 'saved me' by being the person I thought you were back then. Turned out you weren't who or what I thought you were after all, but by then I was back on my feet mentally and more than ready to face the world. So, thank you....

Ciao