Getting The Measure

For LL

You never did get the measure of me, did you. That was partly my doing and partly yours. On another plane you had no idea what I did either and I'm talking of 'work'. It wasn't quite what you were told...one of the reasons I had a home in London as well as the country.

At the time we were both wrapped up in our own crises, but I wasn't so wrapped up with my loss not to be a little careful. You had your divorce and I had my bereavement. I came from a very, very happy marriage and you came from a rather sad divorce. You could say you made a mess of your life and I didn't.

In fact all those things are true. I would agree on one thing you said - and there weren't many things I agreed with. That was, that we met at the wrong time. I guess you didn't try enough, and I tried a little too much.

I moved on from where I was but ... you didn't in many ways. You may think that I didn't in writing these blogs, but they are only here as a constant reminder of what you were left behind with, when to coin a phrase you could have had the World and a man who loved you, truly loved you....then.

One day, if it hasn't come to that already, you will realize what you did. Burying your wrong decision doesn't make it go away. It's deep down there, with all the other things you'd rather forget. Buried in the recesses of your mind and popping up when you least expect it. Rather like I did once on that fateful day in June 2003, from over here in Florida.

That day was fateful. We all make a few wrong decisions in our lives. That was my one big one when I met you. Nearly two years of my life wasted on a cheat and a thief. I say nearly to years, because it wasn't entirely wasted as I enjoyed the company of others, once I found out what you were up to.

In your case it was definitely a fateful day. You really did make the wrong decision, as you said yourself. Once again in your life you passed on something you will never have. Instead, you have settled for being in a rut and being a soccer 'widow'. Never exploring the world, never enjoying real luxury, and never having someone who was really in love with you.

This short blog is just one of those reminders, I think you need from time to time.

Lovely day here not hot, but warm around 75F (24C) - after all it is our winter!😄

PS Never could resist one could I. What is your man doing in a photo with an alcoholic?

Ciao