Silence Unbroken

LL


You are notable by your absence. Problems at home? Need a shoulder to cry on? I will be in London, UK, tomorrow p.m.

We've been enjoying Nantucket (new home) and Cas's hospitality over Christmas and the New Year, but are now getting down and dirty in New Hampshire....in a ranching sense...horses, that is. However, business calls in London, so I will be there tomorrow for a few days before returning here.

How is life with the dwarf or is it over now? I always thought you sought stability in your life with 'a man who was in control but not controlling'. You are still searching aren't you because you haven't found what you truly want. Ten years ago you always said 'I don't know what I want'. That indecision has cost you precious years.

The very same indecisiveness that caused you to dither in 2006. You lost the best bet in life you had ever had then. Wealth, security and most of all unconditional love. I have moved on greatly since then but I know that you haven't. I find that more than a little sad.

You said I was lucky. It was never that. It was determination and decisiveness mixed with shrewdness and acumen that has resulted in what you might term my good fortune. I am very happy in life, but I am not sure you are.

I sometimes think back to some of the things we did together. That long morning spent in bed in Denia, Sandringham, Sorrento, a visit to your friend in Essex, fooling around in the pool in Florida, staying at my brother's. They were happier memories. But then there was the discovery of your infidelity, your coldness when you thought you were leaving me (I had already moved on in a manner of speaking). So, I also remember you callousness, coldness, immorality - not only sexually but with the bangles - and your gloating about the new man in your life.

I had to laugh, though, and I have laughed a lot since. From when a friend forwarded me photos, right up until the present day (still get the occasional photo, incidentally). I laugh at your choice, the vacations you take, that tiny villa you book each trip and the mundane life you lead weekdays and, repetitively, at weekends. If you hadn't been so very foolish it all could have been very different.

Enough for now this was by of a little catch up and a reminder of what you lost due to your own actions. We will be in the same country for a few days if you are not traveling somewhere.

Ciao