Interesting

LL

It's an interesting observation of life, and the decisions we are presented with, that has led us to where we both are. That observation, if that is the right word, is in the complexity of what we do and the consequences it brings.

I was largely neutral on what I was doing in 2005, apart from wanting you to join me. You, on the other hand, actively went elsewhere. In more recent times that has led you to a rainy location and me to a very sunny one. But that is now. The intervening period has been something of a mundane and repetitive existence for you. For me, a much more exciting life. Simple decisions but complex outcomes.

I bet that you had little idea of what you passed on, missed out on, or indeed supposedly left 'behind'. I say left behind because I am sure that is what you thought you had done... with me. In fact, as you subsequently learned, it was you who was left behind.

My earlier reference to rain and sun, doesn't only relate to the weather you have enjoyed (?) on your recent vacation and what we have here in Maui (we have spent time on the Big Island and Oahu and are finishing up here). You, I would guess are on your way home due to the call of soccer. We will fly back to Dallas and then Florida to enjoy the sunshine there. No, my reference also refers to our lives since we, for want of a better expression, parted. 

Parted...that makes me smile. I left long before you did, due to your behavior, but you know that. It was always down to you and what you did. I didn't/don't hate you but I certainly couldn't trust you and there was no way I was going to 'share' you. So, I moved on before you did. Hence, the long break between March and September of that year. March I think was the third instance of my detecting your infidelity.

You were right about making all the wrong decisions. You were wrong about leaving 'him'. You said you couldn't do it...but you thought you had done it to me. Dual standards, if I can grace such thoughts with the word 'standards'.

I think you know more than enough about my life now, the four children we have, the three grandchildren and our wealth etc, for me not to have to repeat any more of it here. I have repeated part of our history, naturally, because I want you to be constantly reminded of the life you lost and the very mundane one you have now.

I am still writing, cooking, photographing (people mainly, but also nature - I have an exhibition in New York later in the year at Manhattan studio), sailing, flying and travelling. So called 'retirement' is pretty damn good and shared with many friends, some of whom you may have guessed at via TW.

My photo exhibition is entitled 'Reflections on American Life in the 21st Century, by an Accidental American'. I doubt that you will get to New York to see it though!

I quite like my own created identity - The Accidental American. I never really had any intention of changing my citizenship back in 2005, although I was quite prepared to live here. Meeting Ash changed all my intentions and priorities...so here I am American by accident but by a very happy accident for which I have to thank you...and the City of Cambridge (UK).

I can't believe you are entirely happy with your 'lot' or the opportunity you missed with me. Part of me says you are because you never really knew very much beyond your small town outlook. But then part of me says you regret missing out on what you might have enjoyed with me. I could see it in your eyes and in your heart, way back then. I guess you are older (certainly) and wiser (maybe) now.

You really did underestimate me didn't you:)....and you had no idea who you were dealing with. It was my misfortune.... or maybe good fortune.... to have fallen in love with you. You for your part betrayed that love and.... lost so much.

I am still writing as I said, under a pseudonym, as I have told you. Here is a small excerpt from a work in progress:

'He was a man in late middle age, gray salt and pepper hair to the sides of his head and hairless on top. His build which was stocky and showing a few extra pounds, hid what he had once been - very fit.

Standing at 5' 9", he wasn't particularly tall. I am over six foot and when I first met him I was in my late 30's. With a military career immediately behind me I was in peek fitness and form.

The meeting wasn't planned or expected. I was in New York  and had just left a BBQ restaurant near the corner of Lexington and East 31st. I turned left into the street approaching a service alley between the BBQ place and a dry cleaners. As I passed the alley a young woman barreled into me at speed. If I had been smaller or less fit, I guess I would have been floored and lying on the sidewalk with her on top of me.

It was obvious she was distressed. In a single movement I stood her against the wall - street side. She barely caught her breath.Smiled at her and took a glance down the alley. It seemed three guys had been about to assault her. At the time I thought robbery was the motive...

Turning and facing square onto the alley an older and shorter oriental looking man had, it seemed, intervened and allowed her to escape. Realizing the woman was safe I started to head down the alley to rescue the old guy. I was armed, but had not drawn my weapon, a Sig Sauer.

He had his back to the dry cleaner's wall and the three of them taunting him. For sure they were low-life but also street wise. I didn't think he stood a chance. One of them threw a punch at him and to my surprise he blocked it and deftly avoided the blow by moving his body, but not his feet. He caught the guy's arm with his other hand, gripping it at the wrist.

What happened next surprised me and the two guys who were watching. It seems he applied some pressure to the first guy's wrist and he collapsed in a heap, unconscious. I was 75 yards away and decided it was time I helped him out. The two remaining went for him, simultaneously.

He didn't need my help - he avoided both their attacks. deflecting one guy and putting his hand on the other guy's neck. He went down as well - again, unconscious. I figured he didn't need my help so I stood there, quietly amazed. By this time the remaining low life was on the ground, having been put there by a deflecting arm. The older guy reached down grabbed his wrist and he too was rendered unconscious.

That was how I met David and Rachel.

I turned to find her standing by my side, just a little more composed than when we had first 'bumped' into each other. She was close and I could smell expensive fragrant notes wafting past my nostrils. Pretty pleasant considering the source....'

I guess you have figured out that I write thrillers mainly, LL. Different locations but one main character, usually.

As I said my life is very good and it was one on offer to you once. Now, I'm looking ahead to our tenth wedding anniversary and you...well you chose the mundane over the exciting and secure and have only yourself to blame. Yes you always make the wrong decisions as you said and this was probably the biggest one.

Ciao

I'll be in Europe soon, April - you can catch me if you wish :)

(Started in Hawai'i - finished in Florida)